I’ve been struggling with my weight my entire adult life. I put it on. I take it off. I put it on. I take it off. Unfortunately, I don’t usually stay at goal weight for long before I turn around and start putting it back on again.
It’s so frustrating. And kind of ridiculous.
Thus far on my life coaching journey, I’ve really focused on relationships. We coaches like to practice constraint and really focus on one thing at a time. Relationships is where I was struggling. Relationships is where coaching completely changed my life. So it’s kind of become my genius zone. If you want help with a relationship, I’m definitely your girl.
But there is so much more.
One of the things I love about coaching is that when you start to change your brain in one area, you start seeing results in other areas as well. Because of that, I’ve already made a lot of progress on weight loss (about half way to my goal). I think it’s time to move my focus and see what amazing results I’m able to create in this area.
There are a few reasons I’ve struggled so much with weight loss in the past:
1. I’ve relied almost exclusively on will power. I think I have some pretty amazing will power. But will power is a limited resource. It only works until you run out.
2. I haven’t been willing to feel and process any emotion. I use food to buffer. When I don’t want to feel something, food makes me feel better. In order to be successful, I’m going to have to get really good at feeling all of it.
3. I’ve never solved for the root cause of my overeating. I’ve always focused on the actions (diet and exercise habits) and never figured out why I’m overeating in the first place.
As a weight loss coach, I have tools to help you know what to eat (or not eat) and when to eat it. But seriously, in this day and age, those answers are right at our fingertips anytime we want them. You can pick any style of eating and have more information than you could ever need in a matter of minutes. And I’ve done just that repeatedly over the years.
But in the end, all diets work and all diets fail. Most of the popular diets are popular for a reason. You will lose weight with most of them. And then you will gain it back.
The part I’ve never done is the thought work. I’ve never changed my brain. And that’s why I just keep repeating the same patterns over and over again. I’ve never actually solved the problem. This time, I’m going to lose it for good. I’m going to get to my ideal body size and I’m going to stay there. My goal isn’t just to lose weight. My goal is to become a new version of myself.
My future self doesn’t care about food. She doesn’t think about food. She doesn’t feel deprived when she goes to a party and doesn’t eat just like my current self doesn’t feel deprived when I go to a party and don’t drink. Being healthy is part of her personality. She loves taking care of her body and has no desire to poison it with garbage. She loves to fuel it with the healthiest food she can find. Staying at her ideal weight is super easy because she no longer desires things that would make her gain weight.
Some of you may be thinking this sounds like a fantasy. Here’s how I know it’s not. Six and half years ago I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and told I couldn’t eat gluten. I actually cried in my doctor’s office. Not eating gluten sounded like a death sentence. What would life be like without cookies and bread? I couldn’t even imagine such an awful existence. In the beginning I felt extremely deprived, in addition to a whole heap of other negative emotions. When my family had pizza I had to leave the room.
Today, being gluten free doesn’t phase me (except for the inconvenience of it all). I go to social events on the regular where I watch everyone else enjoy treats that I don’t eat. I don’t feel deprived. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel angry. I just don’t eat it. It’s not a big deal. If I can do that with gluten, I don’t see any reason I can’t do it with sugar.
Here’s another example: I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We don’t drink coffee, tea, or alcohol. And it doesn’t bother me a bit. A few years ago I started getting migraines and intense headaches and during that time I got addicted to soda. When I get a headache, it feels like absolutely nothing can stop me from drinking that soda. If I have headaches multiple days in a row, I start feeling like I need a soda every day (even without the headache).
Soda makes me feel better. Physically and emotionally. Sometimes I’m just having one of those days and I NEED that soda. In one single sip, I feel better. It hasn’t even had time to impact me physically but I feel better the moment it hits my throat. So going without… sometimes feels like going without gluten.
One day I was discussing the wild rumors that float around the church membership sometimes with my hubby and he said “What if they announced in conference that they’re adding soda to the Word of Wisdom and we can’t drink it anymore?” I immediately answered that I’d be done with soda, no problem. And I meant it. It wouldn’t be an issue for me. And then I realized what I just said. All it would take for me to break this addiction is One. Single. Thought.
I don’t think the prophet is going to tell me to stop drinking soda. But I don’t need him to. I can just as easily come up with a thought that will do the same thing.
If you’re wanting to lose weight and ready to get started, take this journey with me. We’ll explore our brains together and find the root cause of our food issues. Not because we don’t love ourselves exactly as we are, just because it’s going to be fun. Just because we can. Are you in?
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