I was chatting with a friend this week when someone close to her texted. She explained that her friend was having a hard time because her daughter had just come out as a lesbian and she was afraid of what her friends and family would say.
I see this kind of thing a lot with my clients so I wanted to address it and make sure you know: what other people think is none of your business.
AND…It’s not about you (or your daughter, in this case).
It’s about them.
If it was about you, everyone would have the exact same opinion, right? If one person thinks you’re amazing and another person thinks your horrible, how can that have anything to do with you? It doesn’t. It tells us about those two people, not about you.
The only opinion that matters is your own.
Do you like you?
That’s where your focus needs to be.
You can do everything perfectly and there will still be people who don’t like you. Just like there are people in the world who don’t like chocolate. It’s not chocolate’s fault. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with chocolate. It doesn’t tell us anything about chocolate.
Here’s the other thing I wanted to show you: the reason this mom is worried about what other people will say is because she wants everyone to love and accept her daughter exactly as she is.
But, in doing so, she isn’t loving and accepting her family and friends exactly as they are. If she thinks Grandpa Joe is wrong for not loving her daughter exactly how she is, she isn’t loving Grandpa Joe exactly as he is.
See the problem?
You don’t need to be validated by anyone but yourself. You don’t need approval from anyone but yourself. Be the person you want to be and love yourself unconditionally, exactly as you are. That’s when you’ll gain courage, self-confidence, empowerment and compassion.
When you choose to love yourself unconditionally, it’s easier to love others unconditionally…and vice versa. Choose to love and stop worrying about what other people think and the entire world will open up to you.